Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012
Overweight... depressed... can't consummate shaadi!
Dear Diana,
I was first married in December 2004. The girl's nature wasn't very co-operative and the marriage could not get consummated because of that and some kind of low self-esteem, which I had because I am overweight.
u00a0
Thereafter, the marriage broke within one month and then followed by litigations and false allegations. It finally ended in divorce. After which, I found another match. The meetings were very brief. I found this girl very adjustable and she had lost one kid to destiny. I was hopeful that with her patient attitude, we would be able to lead a happy life. However even this time, my low self-esteem and her impatient attitude couldn't let marriage consumate. We even visited Doctor and he told not to try for sometime, till I feel relaxed. But, the marriage again ended up too in 1 month, by the girl. Though we later got to know that this girl was not legally divorced and after my money. I have got myself checked with pshycatrist and other doctors and with relaxants I am now more confident about self. The doctor has advised me to proceed for marriage. But now, I am not able to gain trust about girl though I desperately wish to marry. There were other family problems which have got resolved.
AB
Dear Friend,
You've been this way far too often. There's really no point keeping on marrying woman after woman, only to discover that you cannot consummate the marriage because of your own insecurities. It's just plain unfair to her if you simply keeping on blaming the girl for your drawbacks. Rather than worry about theu00a0 implications your next marriage might have on you, I'm more worried about the effect the marriage might have on the girl.
He refuses to commit!
Dear Diana,
I am 18, my boyfriend is 24. We love each other but the problem is that he refuses to commit to marriage. We are from different religions and our standards are too different. I know that he is perfect for me, but without commitment I feel low as he hardly discloses to anyone that there's a gal in his life.
Unlucky
Dear Friend,
There's obviously something on his mind. he realises there's something that could go wrong and so, doesn't want to commit to anything without getting consent from his parents or relatives/community. Understandable though not excusable. He has to tell his friends and family about you sometime soon rather than keep you on tenterhooks. Insist that he does.
Ek taraf hai gharwaali, ek taraf baaharwaali
Dear Diana,
I am 42 years old, am married and have two kids. I am in love with another woman. She is also married and has two kids. We have sex once a week and want to marry each other. I can't tell my wife because I love her too.
Raju
Dear Raju,
You can only have it one way; not both. Doing either, together will only harm and destroy everyone concerned. Either divorce your wife and move on with the other woman. Or accept things the way they are and don't commit to anything. Live a lie of a life.
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